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Not Tonight Darling...

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She was stooped over the newspaper sipping her morning tea, when she let a loud whoop of delight.  The about to poop pigeon look startled and made a crashing exit from the balcony, leaving behind a dozen feathers as keepsake. The floating feathers found their way to Suvo’s tea.   Oops you got free garnishing and gave him her toothiest smile.  Riya had read somewhere that a smile is a curve that sets everything straight.  It didn’t work this time.

As she walked around the house, Riya had to make sure her feet were touching the ground.  She felt as if she was levitating.  How could she not, the usually depressing papers had finally managed to publish something that had uncomplicated her life.  Her heart was singing so loud that she had to put it on mute.  Goodbye Saridon, goodbye yawns....

When Suvo came out of the shower, she looked deep into his eyes and cooed I know what you have been missing, baby and gave him a tight hug.  Don’t worry Mr Cuddlemore, you will never feel sad again!  Suvo looked puzzled but decided to keep his mouth shut.  It must be one of those days he thought.

In another part of the town Ram Ishwar Paswan(RIP) - CEO, Banyan Pharma read the same piece of news with a chill running down his heart.  What bullshit! If it is women who prefer sex, while men are happy with just a cuddle, who the hell will buy Saridon?  Is Disprin on its way to the graveyard?  Sheila Darling, I think we will have to cancel our trip to Lake Como.  RIP didn’t wait to hear Sheila’s anguished why as he rushed out of the house for an emergency meeting.

It was late in the evening.  The Pub was spilling with women and it was not even ladies night.  The air was rent with the sounds of their excited chatter.  The men for some strange reason were not their raucous self, rather they were looking a little subdued, a little off-colour.  AHA (Antiquated Husband Association) was huddled in a corner for their monthly meet and speaking in urgent, hushed tones. Ever since their well kept secret was splashed all over the papers, they are a worried lot.  And quite rightfully so - now that it has been proved that in a long term relationship it is women who seek sex while men are happy with just a cuddle and a kiss, their reputation is in jeopardy. Do you realize how lame we’ll look!  Our wives will treat us no better than their Teddy Bears.  And to make it worse, these stupid scientists are now claiming that the real purpose of sex is to fight parasites.  Now that sex is no longer pointless, our life is at grave risk.  We will now have to fight off our wives while they seek us to kill parasites.

It was rather late when Suvo got back home from the Pub.  He could hear Riya sing...Come on baby light my fire in a strange husky voice. She sounded odd, very, very odd.  As he gingerly pushed open the door, he walked in to their room bathed in the soft flames of the flickering candles.  Suvo’s heart was beating a little louder now.  Dear God!  It looks like she finally got rid of her headache.  It has been such a long day, I am so tired.  He was almost sounding like Riya now.  Sweetheart he managed to croak-I forgot something in the car. I’ll be back in five minutes. 

Just as the chemist was about to shut shop, he heard the sound of running feet.  Surprised, he turned around to face a profusely sweating Suvo.  Can I have a strip of Saridon please?  No, make that 10, I will be needing a month’s supply...

Riya sighed in relief as she blew off the candles...Bye-bye guilt she murmured as she pulled the covers over her.

Sheila just got her vacation back.  Not tonight darling, I have a headache changed its gender.

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