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‘Divorce’ The Indian implication

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A friend called up today morning, in a choked voice he blurts I’m getting divorced. Amidst shock and tears running amok, the ground realities of relationships hits one really hard, in the finality of a tone that is spent in the courtyards of separations. An Indian divorce like divorces world wide is nasty and heart wrenching and yet it is perhaps different in many other counts, especially because of its social significance, in a society that has still bound it with stigma.
 
 
The question that buzzes around my head is, do we as generation next take our relationships too much for granted and be flippant about them. It is perhaps not until many of us realise the value of what we have.
 
As in most cases it is the child involved who shall perhaps suffer the most, not because a child cannot survive without either the mother or the father as an entity, but having known both halves of what a so called family comprises, she/he shall be torn perhaps for the rest of her life and wonder why and what went wrong.
 
For those who advocate divorce in loud voices, there are perhaps thousands of Indian men and women who avoid the ‘D’ word like plague simply because of it’s social calamities in a country like ours where there is a social stigma attached to a divorcee. Like many other aspects of Indian society men have it easier here too at least in matters of re-marriage and social stigma. I have known of men marrying more than once after divorcing for the first time and still have an ‘arranged marriage’, with pretty girl’s queuing up to get married, seemingly the be all and end all of the Indian social system. I have nothing against re marriage but wouldn’t it be nice if the same rules would apply to women too?
 
The pain that both man and woman go though in a divorce, brings forth the question, is marriage really worth it? If marriages are no longer what they used to be, then why go through the whole razmataz of a marriage at all. As a generation and a country we are perhaps going through a transitional phase where many of us have learnt to speak out and think in ways that generation ‘BEFORE’ never did and hence face problems that gen BEFORE never had. It is no surprise that many couples chose to live-in today because they couldn’t really be bothered with the formalities that most Indian marriages entail. Perhaps for the better or worse, marriage as an institution itself is going through a phase of experimentation where couples often separate, live their own lives and at times as they grow older even come together yet again to renew their wows. All in all perhaps the Indian marriage faces the same flux that every society goes through in its transition phases.
 
Yet in spite of all the theorising, the rationalising of the good, bad and ugly that perhaps things were not meant to be or that one would perhaps be better off being alone....the tears the stupid tears they just refuse to listen. To all those small eyes that look out in confused wonder at adults playing their lynching games...A prayer of HOPE for you.

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