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Are Bengali Men Mamma’s Boys?

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Well, a question I was asked last Friday during the usual potluck dinner meet. It was getting slightly windy as the sun almost set in and looked like it would pour any moment. The air in the pool side was filled with aromatic flavors as the men this time offered to help with the barbeque just laid next to the pool.
The spices gave way to a spicy topic. Seating in one of those corner table the ladies in the group with their plates full of grilled barbeque chicken and meat over many a gossip suddenly asked me if that was true. A quintessential Bengali for certain things and especially when it comes to food, I was just about to dig in one of those juicy meat after offering my little one a bite who was more interested in a dive.
Thank God for those barricades in the pool side I could focus on the much juicier topic along with those succulent pieces!
We do know of many such stories through our various set of friends, but, I don’t know if it’s okay to categorize. So, I in turn asked my friend why only Bengali men? She said, apparently she has heard many such stories from most of her Bong friends. For instance, one of her friends who is newly married and the couple is staying in a different country used to see her hubby weep every night. Inspite of asking numerous times he never told her what is it that was troubling him. Gradually she found out her man was missing his mom and unable to discuss it with the wife he would quietly shed tears. One more instance, another friend of her who stays with her in-laws, figured that every morning the mom would check out the son’s wardrobe to decide on the shirt and trouser he would wear at work, so much so that she would even discuss and debate on which brief and vest he should wear that day. It is like a big event every morning.
In another instance, the mom-in-law (MIL) doesn’t allow the daughter-in-law (DIL) to take the son’s clothing to laundry. At times the DIL has done it unknowingly, but, the MIL has clearly told her to stay away!
Hence, my friend drew a conclusion. And it seems she has more such stories in the kitty. In the first instance, the man has stepped out of his house for the first time leaving his parents. The second one is the only child of his parents and even though the daughter-in-law is home now, they seem to be in the old-habits-die-hard situation.
It might just be case of a child being more close to the mom or dad. Also, is it really prudent to categorize knowing very well that there are similar instances irrespective of community, background and country? Or is it because of the society we live in, we get to see once the wife is in the mom is out?
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Nicely written !Yes,I do

Nicely written !Yes,I do agree that there a
re similar instances in other communities too............may be not so publicized as Bangali Moms


Anumita Chatterjee Roy Moon's picture

A question to ponder...again as you pointed out it does happen to ones of other community also...I believe it is the Indian way of bringing up in which sons do get to be the center of the mom's world...and so the thought of being replaced sort of brings that 'not so wanted' side out of a MIL...:)

Anumita Chatterjee Roy (Moon)

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