A chance conversation with a few friends set me thinking. The conversation was centred around; hold your breath, wimpy men! Now, what sort of a man is considered wimpy, to be more precise, seen as a mamma’s boy? Well, it is there in the word itself, the one who listens to mamma of course!
Before, I proceed further; I would like to explore this tribe of men who listen to their moms. What are they like? Are they the ones who only exclusively listen to their moms and no one else? On the basis of the conversation I had with my friends, the tribe which takes the moms calls late in the night to tell her about their whereabouts, whether they are going to be back home or not, are also in the same net.
According to me, it is unfair to club both the kinds of men together. An adult male who listens only to his mother, to the exclusion of using his judgement is certainly different from a man, who takes his worried mother’s calls when he comes home past the witching hour or shows consideration to his mother in some other respect.
In the latter case, he understands and appreciates his mother’s concern and love. The most surprising aspect was, that most women would want their own son’s to be the latter example of a considerate gown man, who would take their mother’s calls willingly, even if very late. But the same, would not be tolerated if the husband does it ( as in take his own mother’s calls).
Why is that most women would want their sons to be the phone-call-answering types, but would consider the same trait laughable if their husbands did it? An oxymoron wish, if one can say so. A man, who is considerate to his own mother, would be expected to be considerate to his partner or spouse. The one’s who are not, are not being discussed at all, because they are simply not worth it.
There is hopefully truth in the popular adage that a man who treats his wife like a princess, must have been brought up by a queen. So this oxymoron-wish, by women is a reflection of insecurity and also to some extent, years of social conditioning that mothers-in-law are not to be trusted. So as women, do we truly help our own tribe, when we have differing sets of standards set for an older woman, who perhaps just expects some love in return? Something to think about, is it not? Why is it that we show compassion and empathy for a stranger, especially more so if it is woman, but are unable to do so when it comes to the much maligned mother-in-law?
I believe, if we truly want to move ahead, we need to be able to embrace one of our own and move ahead. What is the point of education and being well read, if one is not able to overcome one’s own private demons and conditioning for a greater cause, in this case of another woman.
Submitted by Nishiroy on Thu, 03/15/2012 - 23:29