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Rakhi’s haart goes dhak-dhak

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Mere Pyaare Mohan,
Last night you came in a helicopter in mai dream.  Your kale ghane baal flying in the wind, your patli kamaar playing lukka chhupi with me - by God ki kasam I feel like putting big black tikka on your face. Najjar naa lag jaye mere baanke bihari ko! 
When I see you, my haart went dhuk dhuk loudly like Madhuri Dixit.  I think the loud sound wake up my good for nothing boyfraand.  But not to worry that bloodyphool sleeps like a saandh. Woh to bole jo bullshit walla bull.


Haan... I was saying in my dreams you were looking handsomer than Salman Khan.  Toh aur khyaa – I grabbed you and looked deep into your fadaktee hui eyes.  I could feel your stomach shaking violently like mixie – I ask pet kharaab hai jee?  You move your head violently, blush and say behenjee what to do – it is my habit.  I was so filled with gussa, I had tears in my eyes like Meena Kumari.  Dil ke armaan asoowon mein bah gaye - I sing loudly.  I immediately fall at your feet and scream... Who behenjee?  I am your charan dasi and you are mai swami.

Marning I wake up looking like a dayaan but my heart singing like Lata Mangeshkar.   And I thinking kee we have so much in comman.  Ek toh we both don’t like wearing clothes, doosra toh we are both so entertaining.  Then you are hot and I hotter. Together we will create global warming.  Haaai...What a pair we will make, just like Abhi-Ash ki Jodi.  Waise toh, I also tried expressing my love to Rahul Gandhi.  I calling him again and again and his ring tone play Jaa Chudail.  I hear it so many times I know it bai heart now.  
Now I decide you are my ideal vaar for swayamvar.  You have badi badi car.  You also have an island in Scotland.  I will wear meri dedh lakh waali saari and sing love songs for you on green, green hills in your island.  
Thoda bahut problem hogaa in beginning - you like only lauki, I like Cock and Paapsi.  You eat ghaas phoos , I eat kukkad shukkad.  No problem jee, love ke liye salaa kuch bhi karegaa.  When I am your missus, you and I will try different-different posishuns and make a blockbustard Yoga DVD.   And with practise you will make my plastic elastic - my doctoratlarge said so. 

And Priyatam mere you can now safely donate your salwar kameej.  When police comes charging at you with lathi I will carry you in my arms to safety.  Jab pyaar kiya to darnaa kya?  Thode bahut dande I can tolerate.

I will look so saxy as a yogini. 
So my Vishwamitra what you think – kyaa vichar hai apkaa?   Waise bhi my swayamvar ki mala cupboard mein akele padee bore ho rahi hai.  I am telling you, you will not find a Meneka like me, who will do item dance for you every Sachurday.  I will press all your body parts and make you a very happy man.  Just remamber, this offer is on for a limited period only.  You know me naa...kabhi yahan...kabhi wahan....kabhi yeh...toh kabhi woh...And my mammary is too weak.  So jaldee se ask your Mummee before mai natkhat haart changes its mind. 
Your Chulbulee Charandaasi

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